she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
