I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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