So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
