Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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