I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
