After last night, I could never be a politician.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the condom got lost in my hair
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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