We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
