Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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