So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
