I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
