i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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