I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
