shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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