All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
