Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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