maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
