Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
