Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
