so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
