carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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