The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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