I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
