ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
