Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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