Swine flu. Run for my life!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
