Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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