Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
