how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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