i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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