Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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