I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I would fuck him just for his dog
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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