I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
