you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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