I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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