there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
