i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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