my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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