so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
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