Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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