Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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