Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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