haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
