and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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