Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
