a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
