how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
