I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
