He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
