oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
