Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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